“It has been said, ‘Time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”—Rose Kennedy
At the start of the semester, there is one lesson that I try to drill into my student’s heads—the fallacy that time heals all wounds. Time doesn’t, I tell them. Rather, it is what we do with the time that heals the wounds.
Grieving, or healing, is a proactive process. You cannot just sulk in one corner, moan about your troubles and watch the world go by. That’s fine for a couple of months; one has to grieve one’s loss, after all.
But after a while, the light breaks into the crack of the wounded heart, and you realize that the world does not, and will not, stop for you. So you slowly reinvest, reorganize and rebuild a new life where the person who is now gone has left an empty space.
But does the pain ever go away? Does one become scarred for life?
If you are talking about the death of a child, a parent or a spouse, the pain will always be there, but it lessens as the years go by. But if it is there, it will always be there. Accept it, make it your friend and live with it.
Travels with Myself 
Dear Ms. Cathy, I am an avid reader of your column “Roots and Wings” in PDI Sunday LifeStyle. I myself lost a son four years ago due to ASD (Atrial Septal Defect). We had him operated but he succumbed to complications after three days. He was only 30 years old. The pain of losing him never ceases. May I share this article in my FB? Thank you so much and more power.
LikeLike
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, Imelda. Yes, please go ahead and share this article. We have an FB page for my book “Between Loss and Forever” — you may want to visit. Take care and God bless!
LikeLike
i have to agree it is what one does to the time while grieving or healing. after two years when my father died, a tear still fall remembering him. it is not happening anymore, there is still pain but manageable.
LikeLike