He wasn’t exactly her first heart break but it’s what she chose to remember and write about.
They were sitting across each other at a table by the window of a cafe in Makati one rainy afternoon. It must have been June when she finally chose to disclose her real feelings. Feelings she had harbored in secret for the longest time. And there he sat, the fading sunlight framing his fair face as looked at her with the kindest eyes. There was a period of silence, and then he cleared his throat, took a sip of water, and slowly broke the truth. He cared deeply about their friendship but he was in love with someone else. He was in love with another man.
In that moment it felt as if the world had swallowed her up. Like a bucket of ice water had been poured on to her head, she felt numb all over. After about an hour of talking things through, they parted ways and she went home in a daze. She lay quietly in bed, looked up at the ceiling and let the tears fall. She must have stayed locked up in her room for the remainder of the weekend, mustering all the courage in the world so that she wouldn’t fall apart. Eventually, as the days passed by, the reality of it all began to sink in, and she had no choice but to glue back together the pieces of her heart. “Stronger in the broken places,” she kept repeating the words like a mantra.
Recently she came across this passage in the Berlin-atparasites page — “Loving someone who cannot love you the same way in return is not weakness. It’s one of the most courageous things you’ll ever do. You are putting your armor at their feet and you are saying ” I will not fight you in this. I have loved you and that means that I have already won.”
Time passed, and it seems like a lifetime ago when her heart was shattered. She now chooses to view the experience through a different lens. “I will always be grateful for his friendship and his part in my story, as I am, to this day, grateful to have played, albeit a small part, in his,” she said.
When you love from a pure place, nothing is ever wasted.*
*This story is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real-life persons and situations is purely coincidental.