I think forgiveness is a very brave thing to do. More often than not, we really can't do it on our own, and this is when the grace of God steps in.
I always used to tell my children when they were younger, "Hate is a very strong and powerful word. Do not use it." You can say, "I won't tolerate, or I dislike, I won't accept..but never hate."
I've never really disliked someone enough to the point of completely and totally cutting them out of my life. On a pensive afternoon like today, when I look back and remember the people who have, in one way or another hurt me, and maybe me, them; I realize that the bridges haven't been burned, at least from my side.
I may minimize my interaction with the person, but that's a personal choice, and somehow, I'd like to think that we have managed somehow to co-exist, peacefully, which is good. These people know that if they need something from me, and if I can do it, I will, especially if it's something that will benefit others. There is a mutual respect that remains in spite of everything that has transpired.
I never ignore people when they reach out to me, even if hurt has been part of our history. Never. Time may pass but life always has a way of helping the heal the wounds. You grow as a person, you experience life-changing moments, you evolve, you receive grace which in most cases is always, unmerited.
And for me at least, there is nothing in life that is so unforgivable. Time passes. You learn kindness, and forgiveness.
No matter what has happened, I'm always very grateful to be carried to a point where I am able to wish them well, wish them good. And to pray for them. I know this isn't me anymore, but the amazing grace of God that enables me to do this.
You don't need to accept that person back into your life completely, you don't need to be the best friends, or interact with them on a regular basis. Some wounds can really run deep. And so you put up enough safe boundaries so that person cannot hurt you anymore. But, when a person reaches out to you sincerely and seeks your forgiveness, how can you not give it?
Although in some cases, no matter what you do, or say, if the person still cannot find it in his or heart to forgive you, difficult though it may be, just let it go. Continue to pray and wish him or her well. When a heart is hardened, only the Father can soften it. Life is fleeting and at times, no matter how hard you try, love doesn't always seem to win. And sometimes, because we are human, and frail, the heart grows weary of reaching out.
Remember, all in His time. Surrender the person, and pray for them anyway. ❤️