This week was a challenge to my heart and my peace.
When someone you love is verbally assaulted by someone related to you, it’s beyond heartbreaking. It’s been a while since I’ve grieved over something like this. For 48 hours my peace was shattered, my throat hurt like hell because I could not hit back. I wanted to, but I couldn’t because what good would that do?
So I decided to simply be still so I could listen well to what I needed to do next. When there is too much noise, you want to make sure that your mind and heart are in the right place so that you can hear correctly. For the last several years peace has been way. But this. This was a test of my patience and my faith.
So I soaked in His word as my body was healing. I needed to get well overnight because I had to be with the bereaved the following morning. How can you help those who are grieving when you yourself are in grief?
But always, God is faithful.
This morning I woke up refreshed and up and about by 5AM. It seemed as if God had worked through the night, getting me ready for today. I felt much better than I did the last 48 hours, but still a little unsettled as I sat in my window seat, waiting for the plane to take off.
While taxiing on the runway, I managed to download today’s Bible reading plan on my app. I thought to myself that maybe up in the air, above the clouds, I would perhaps hear Him better.
I looked outside, the skies were in a perfect shade of blue, and beneath me, cerulean waters and a formation of fluffy clouds. The wing looked simply majestic against that backdrop.
And as I began to read, I felt Him so strongly speak to my heart. Psalm 57:10 “For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.” I know that God is everywhere, but at that moment, 28,000 feet above the ground, I could almost imagine Him sitting in the empty seat beside me, assuring me
that all shall be well.
I read some more.
Psalm 46:5 “God is within her, she will
not fall; God will help her at break of day.” A few years ago, at a crucial time in my life, I wrote a piece entitled “Holding Patterns” — the state wherein a plane holds steady in the air, awaiting clearance to land. It is in those holding patterns of life where everything is unknown that our faith in the Lord grows the most when we allow Him to speak to us. What a comfort, “…she will
not fall; God will help her at break of day.”
I looked at the wing, mighty and steady.
And He spoke again, through one scripture after another, He assures me that in the holding pattern, He’s got our back and we only need to trust.
In the hospital room back in 1998, with my son lying in a coma several floors below me, Psalm 91 was my lifeline. I would repeat it every night so I could sleep. Today, itwas the final verse in my reading plan. Psalm 91:4 “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”
With God as my shield, there is nothing to fear. I closed my eyes in thanksgiving. The plane touched down. My heart was ready.