I didn’t get to see the actual interview, but I’ve read the blow by blow accounts in The NY Times and here are my thoughts from the perspective of someone who knows childhood grief well.
- There was grief all over the page in this interview. Un-processed grief over the sudden, tragic and early death of a much beloved mother. He was 12 years old, William was 15. A death under those circumstances is an unspeakable loss that you carry with you throughout your life. Childhood grief when unresolved, can drive you to do many things, and make decisions that you may later on regret.
- There also was grief over a parents very public divorce where allegations of infidelity rang very strongly. Right then and there, very deep father wounds all over the place. He must have been only 9 or 10 when the divorce happened.
- I’m not a huge fan of Charles and his not taking Harry’s calls after they had decided to step back from royal duties was very childish. Most likely, Harry’s decision triggered him, and reminded him of his own ex wife’s many decisions decades back. History repeats itself. Charles rejection of course, opened up so many father wounds on Harry’s part. I felt sorry for Harry in this interview. There were many moments when you could see the lost 12 year old boy still trapped in this 36 year old man.
- My personal take is that in so many ways, Harry sees Diana in Meghan. Unconventional, daring, open, radical to a certain extent. He loved Diana unconditionally. In his eyes, she could do no wrong. Harry’s behavior towards Meghan, when al hell broke loose, and the decisions he subsequently makes is propelled by a lot of his childhood grief. “I didn’t get to save my mum, so I’m going to save you.”
- Very interesting choice of words towards the end. Save, and fairy tale. He saved her, she saved him. And that their love story is bigger than any fairy tale.
Life is not a fairy tale. We all know that.
In a healthy relationship, there is no “saving.” You cannot save, but you can always love. And sometimes it requires tough love – making difficult calls, and decisions. Leaving, and putting up boundaries against toxic people. That’s how you can save yourself and stay mentally healthy and sane. Perhaps, this is what they both sought to do. Maybe it’s cultural, maybe there are other reasons, but honestly, I had difficulty grappling with the idea of a tell all. Personally, I believe there are many other quieter, more dignified ways to slay the monsters under your bed.